My 7-year-old daughter, Miciah, is wonderful. She is happy, nice and kind to others. She can be a handful, for sure, because of how independent (and/or bossy) she is, but she very rarely is the one who instigates trouble.
Except for the last few weeks.
Lately Miciah has yelled at her brothers more than normal, including one frustrated outburst of "What is WRONG with you?"
She's been hitting her brothers and friends, which she almost never
does.
Then she invited a friend to spend the night and while they were playing, she dug her fingernails into her friend's hand because her friend had a toy she wanted. And second, while they were both trying to fall asleep, she took her friend's bedtime bear!
To top it off, Miciah's been lying about it all. All of this had me thinking, "WHAT IS GOING ON?!"
I started getting really frustrated with her escalating behavior. I had no idea what was causing it, and therefore had no idea what to do to stop it.
So about a week ago I found a quiet moment on the living room couch. I wasn't sure what to say, but I asked Miciah to come sit beside me and I put my arm around her and said, "Miciah. I've noticed your behavior hasn't been very good lately." She kind of hung her head as I briefly listed off some of the offenses. I then asked her if something was wrong. She said, "I don't know."
And then, out of left field, she said, "Mom? In 2nd Grade, can you come to my parties and field trips and stuff?"
Let me tell you how much I care about class holiday parties. ... Yeah, so I don't care at all. I barely acknowledge holidays in my own home. Plus, I'm just NOT a room mother type of mom.
So I wasn't sure what to say to my daughter. It was a simple request. And clearly it's important to her that I be more involved with her school. But I REALLY don't want to be a room mother. I don't know about your kid's school, but Miciah's doesn't really give a lot of options for hands-on parent involvement after Kindergarten. It's pretty much room mother or nothing.
But there was just as clearly only one right thing to do. If it's that important to my daughter, I can attempt to morph into Room Mother Tamra!
I looked Miciah in the eye and told her that I would talk to her 2nd grade teacher about being more involved. Miciah smiled contentedly. She closed her eyes and sqeezed me tight for the next two minutes. She didn't move or say anything. She just hugged me.
Since then she's been fantastic. No more hitting or yelling or lying. ... And I have 2 months to become comfortable with the whole room mother idea. Wish me luck!